You might not know this about me, but I love to drive!
Pick up trucks preferably, but I don’t discriminate. Give me music and google maps and I’m happy. On the day I landed in the US, I accidentally drove past the pentagon during rush hour traffic, no sweat. I drove myself and 5 pets from VA to CA in 4 days in my Chevy truck. During yoga teacher training, I commuted from the AV to Santa Barbara at inhuman hours. I can now navigate a certain close-by canyon road in my sleep. I love to take 2-3 hour drives, just for the freedom, the landscape and the car karaoke no one can hear. Alone on the road can be my happy place.
Yesterday, caught in rush hour traffic on an LA highway, I felt completely overwhelmed and ready to lose my sh**. It was a very different experience from the usual sense of freedom. In this moment, I felt trapped in a crash waiting to happen.
Whether it’s physical or mental stress and fatigue, my body’s response is pain and exhaustion. I had to take 3 breaks on a trip which usually takes 1.5 hours in all. When I finally arrived home however, I felt as if I had won at wizzard chess.
And here is why:
I was able to guide myself through an extremely stressful situation and nobody died! I’m going to count that as a win.
When I felt overwhelmed, I was able to identify it and admit it to myself. Even that takes some practice! We become experts at ignoring sensations that are inconvenient to us. Consider how often you find yourself feeling a little unwell, not quite at 100%, may be even “a little grumpy or low for no reason”. After a little while you figure out, you just nedded to eat. Palm to face moment, right?
Between my body’s stress response of exhaustion and pain, and my inner voice recounting all the ways I could mess up, I knew I had to find a way out of highway traffic. Even when you are familiar with the LA area, this can be a feat in itself.
I took the nearest random exit, no matter where it led. My natural panic response wanted me to stay on the known highway, but ultimately I decided to trust that I had the tools to figure out where I was and how to get myself home safely. I stopped to breathe, cry and text my super supportive boyfriend. Whatever I had to do, until I felt resolve enough to tackle the rest of the journey.
Although I was resentful of my bodies short comings and my minds weakness, I allowed myself the breaks I needed to drive and return home safely.
Each time, I took a moment to breathe deeply, cry, close my eyes and regroup. I was able to reevaluate my route home calmly after a few minutes, even finding an alternative route with the same amount of traffic, but less stress.
I didn’t let myself get overwhelmed by the mental and physical stressors. I gave no energy to the negative dialogue in my head about being weak and “just getting over myself”.
Instead I had to trust in my own abilities to get me home and keep me safe because I was the only one there to get me through it. (With lots of reassurance from my partner by text whenever I pulled over)
What was different this time? I allowed myself to feel the weakness and the fear. There was no denying it, so I worked with, rather than against my mind and body! In the end, we did alright!
I came through this very stressful experience a stronger person with a little more confidence in my ability to take care of myself. Bonus!
TRY THESE TRICKS NEXT TIME YOU PANIC AND FREAK OUT
- Next time you alre in a stressful situation, feel your anxiety rising, and your self confidenence depleting, a . choose yourself first
- Take yourself out of the situation in some way. Pull over, excuse yourself and take a few minutes in the loo, whatever is available. There always is a way! Do what you need to do, to get back to a state of calm(ish). Even if that is as little as closing your eyes or feeling every single breath for a few minutes, until you feel “better”.
- Get to know what situations stress you out. Too many people, too much noise, traffic etc. When do you feel overwhelmed or unable to cope? If you’re not sure, start a journal. No judgment or story telling, just facts. Start with noting down one word for a stressful situation, like “schoolrun” or “medical appointment”. Keep it simple, keep it honest. Eventually, you may learn more about your triggers
- Last but not least: Let yourself off the hook! Why do you feel the need to stay in an uncomfortable, stressful situation? Is there a different way to approach the stressor? Letter instead of a chat, main roads instead of the free-way, stairs instead of the escalator? Possibilities are endless. Some fears need to be conquered, sure, but who cares if you take the long way round instead of driving over a bridge? We’ll adress that fear when you’re home safely!
I can now say I trusted myself and my ability to calm myself, and get home safely when the chips were down. That’s a pretty cool thing to be able to say about myself (not to mention write down for the world to read).
If you came this far, I thank you for your time reading and hope you can implement one of the above points to help yourself out next time you get your knickers in a twist.